Thursday, May 19, 2011

Top 10 Patient Quotes

Today concluded almost a year working at Heritage Oaks during my clinical fellowship, recently earning my CCC's.  I've spent the last year not only documenting progress in therapy, but also amazing quotes.  These quotes can only be fully enjoyed with the perspective that many of my patients are in their 80's and 90's and suffer from the comments often seem to come from out of left field and very random. (Additionally there are some "questionable choice words" that may be offensive, but I find them hilarious coming out of the mouths of people that have been alive so long!)

I have compiled some of my favorites and created...

 Top 10 Patient Quotes:

1. "All the reasons you get married for when you're younger don't seem to matter much when you're in your 90's."

2. Elise: "sir would you like any cream or sugar in your coffee?"
Patient: "nope, i like my coffee black...just like my women."
Elise: "well, alright."

3. Two patients were in therapy together and one commented to the other "I just peed all over my self!" and Mama responds, "honey I do that all the time!"

4. Mama: "And when they pull on your dress tell them to get the hell off of you!!! Don't let them make no fool of you..."

5. Elise: "mama what do you have in your pockets?" Mama: "oh just some crackers for the may be late before I make them dinner..."Elise: "you my dear are a great mama!"Mama: "Mmm Hmmm... (with head nod in agreement).

6. Mama: "Don't let those bastards run over you...shit I'll give you everything from my pockets if you need!" (don't know the "Bastards" she is referring too!)
7. Elise: "Hi mama, how are you today?"Mama: "Well, I'm just getting older and older every day!"
8. Mama: "I told that boy, get off her...don't make me come over there and beat your ass, cuz hell knows I will!"
9. Mama looks at her meal and says, "What he hell is that? I don't want that shit!"
10. Told Mama that Thursday would be my last day working here. She responds in classic style saying, "you gotta be your own women!"

"Mama" (not her real name) has been one of my favorite patients an as I concluded today, I was able to give one of my favorite patients a sweet kiss on the cheek. I have to say that I will miss my job, but I am excited about all the new patients I will get to know and LOVE! (The photo below, containing lipstick marks on my arm was taken July 28, 2010, shortly after I first started working there)


sam said...

Oh how I love this posts!!

Kim said...

Aww! This was great, Elise!