being found

My Blog has moved...

2011-08-25T22:13:00.001-07:00

You can find my new blog at:

http://beingfound.posterous.com/

Canlis.

2011-08-03T17:11:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday my grandma, cousin and I all went to Canlis restaurant in Seattle to celebrate our three birthdays.

I of course looked like a tourist as I took pictures of everything.

Here are a few photos from the evening

A little wine to start the evening.

The view of lake union from our table.

The fillet medium rare. So delicious.

Happy 80th Birthday Grandma.

(This was her first time at Canlis and was on her bucket list

of restaurants to visit. It was awesome to be with her.)

Following dinner we took a tour of the restaurant and I loved the stairway of old black and white photographs of all the famous people that have eaten there (i.e. movies stars from 50's and 60's).

This is what the restaurant looked like when it first opened back in 1950.

It is an amazing historic Seattle restaurant that I would highly recommend.

http://www.canlis.com/

anthropologie.

2011-07-26T23:11:00.000-07:00

i recently had a journey to anthropologie.

i noticed this book and i couldn't agree with title more.

one day i hope to have a house with at least one wall lined with books.

in celebrating.

2011-07-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

This past Thursday was my cousin's 24th birthday. We got some family together and tried a new Thai food place in the West Seattle Junction. It probably wasn't the best Thai I've ever had but the decor and vibe of the room was awesome...as well as the family and friends that came!

Here are some photos

Red Curry

Leftovers

The birthday girl

Sweet wall lighting

Cousins

With the birthday Girl

in travel. hawaii

2011-07-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

I recently go back from a trip to Hawaii...

I have been behind in my blogging so I thought this would be a good first post back!

I spend 5 days soaking up the sun off the beaches of Waikiki. I spent it with a very close friend and her sister. We had an absolute blast. I will help to summarize the trip via pictures. I hope you enjoy.

Pretty excited about some sunny weather:

My view...couldn't get enough:

Of course I found coffee:

Went parasailing and jet skiing:

Saw pearl harbor:

Bought a new hat:

Went to a luau:

Enjoyed time with friends:

Enjoyed a beverage flavored with pineapple:

And enjoyed the blue skies:

in cooking: not-your-grandma's chicken

2011-07-07T22:18:00.000-07:00

So one of my first night's cooking was a success.

I made a lemon, garlic, oregano chicken dish.

I feel like photos are a good summary of the process...

At the grocery store

(the man in line behind me probably thought I was a little nuts...

taking a picture of my grocery purchases!)

A few key ingredients!

Here is the "actual title" of the recipe.

The chicken going in the oven.

The chicken coming out of the oven.

Ready to eat.

Some leftovers.

This is a great cook book, I highly recommend it!

in cooking.

2011-07-06T22:28:00.000-07:00

As I settle in to my new studio apartment, one of the areas I am beginning to develop is a fond enjoyment of cooking. It was never something I really did very much in college or grad school for that matter, but now I am realizing that cooking isn't just a means to an end - eating (although that's certainly a great part), but it is an enjoyable process and dare I say art form. I have purchased two cookbooks, which if my grandmother heard that she'd say, "you didn't need to buy them, I have hundreds!" That is a true statement, but for me purchasing them was a commitment to use them. I've always heard the expression you value something more when you have to pay for it yourself. I knew that would be true with these cookbooks, if I purchased them...I would feel more of an urgency to use them. I will keep you posted on this experience.

in good walks and time with friends.

2011-07-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

had a great walk around a cute neighborhood last night. portage bay.

it made me want a sail boat.

i enjoyed the much needed walk with a dear friend.

then had some great conversation with two amazing women.

in reading: tim keller

2011-07-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

I've recently been reading a book by Tim Keller called Kings Cross.

Today was amazing...not only did I get off work a little early, but I also have a balcony that I can read, see the Puget sound, and drink a cold beer. I read a few things that were well said and wanted to share them.

These quotes are Tim Keller's paraphrases:

Jesus- "I want you to follow me so fully, so intensely, so enduringly that all other attachments in you life look like hate by comparison..." If you say, 'i'll obey you Jesus if my career thrives, if my health is good, if my family is together,' then the thing that's on the other side of that if is your real master, your real goal. But Jesus will not the a means to an end; he will not be used. If he calls you to follow him, he must be the goal" (19).

This made me stop and question...Jesus are you truly my goal...are you the thing that I am pursing so fully, intensely, and enduringly in my life...

Additionally...

Jesus- "Follow me. I'm going to take you on a journey, and I don't want you to turn to the left or to the right. I want you to put me first; I want you to keep trusting me; to stick with me, not turn back, not give up, turn to me in all the disappointments and injustices that will happen to you" (24).

Life is a journey as cliche as that sounds but he wants us to turn to him in the disappointments of the journey and put him first...that has been a key theme in my life recently.

in my new studio.

2011-06-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

I finally feel more settled in my new studio apartment and decided to post a few photos:

A few photos taken by my sweet friend Kendra who saw the studio, sent me the photos, and I completed the remote application...this was all I saw of the place before moving up from Dallas to Seattle at the end of May.

Before

These are a few of the place after an Ikea run, many target trips, and lots of re-organizing!

After

(and in continual process)

in the morning.

2011-06-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

Read this devotional this morning; Perfect start to my week.

“Rest with me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.”

Followed by:

“Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go for to you I lift up my soul.”- Psalm 143:8

(Photo taken @ golden gardens a few weeks ago)

Bicycle Wine Rack

2011-06-24T13:31:00.000-07:00

I found this as I was hyperlinking through blog land, its pretty awesome!

http://www.swiss-miss.com/2011/04/bicycle-wine-rack.html

What more could you need?

2011-05-22T14:52:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I moved from Dallas TX to Seattle WA.

It is a big transition in my life and as I make this move I am reaizing more and more how much I need to rely on the Lord's strength in the process. In the airport which served as a fairly frustrating experience...after 8 hours of waiting for our plane due to weather delays our plane finally arrived. I had plenty of time in the airport to read and on of the things I read was poinent.

"I, the creator of the universe, am with you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.

It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events. Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire. Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life. The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My presence. Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!"

It then ended with Romans 8:31-32

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?

I am excited about this new journey and the growth that will occur...Look forward to more blog posts updating you on the transition to my new home!

Top 10 Patient Quotes

2011-05-19T21:11:00.000-07:00

Today concluded almost a year working at Heritage Oaks during my clinical fellowship, recently earning my CCC's. I've spent the last year not only documenting progress in therapy, but also amazing quotes. These quotes can only be fully enjoyed with the perspective that many of my patients are in their 80's and 90's and suffer from dementia...so the comments often seem to come from out of left field and very random. (Additionally there are some "questionable choice words" that may be offensive, but I find them hilarious coming out of the mouths of people that have been alive so long!)

I have compiled some of my favorites and created...

Top 10 Patient Quotes:

1. "All the reasons you get married for when you're younger don't seem to matter much when you're in your 90's."

2. Elise: "sir would you like any cream or sugar in your coffee?"
Patient: "nope, i like my coffee black...just like my women."
Elise: "well, alright."

3. Two patients were in therapy together and one commented to the other "I just peed all over my self!" and Mama responds, "honey I do that all the time!"

4. Mama: "And when they pull on your dress tell them to get the hell off of you!!! Don't let them make no fool of you..."

5. Elise: "mama what do you have in your pockets?" Mama: "oh just some crackers for the children...it may be late before I make them dinner..."Elise: "you my dear are a great mama!"Mama: "Mmm Hmmm... (with head nod in agreement).

6. Mama: "Don't let those bastards run over you...shit I'll give you everything from my pockets if you need!" (don't know the "Bastards" she is referring too!)

7. Elise: "Hi mama, how are you today?"Mama: "Well, I'm just getting older and older every day!"

8. Mama: "I told that boy, get off her...don't make me come over there and beat your ass, cuz hell knows I will!"

9. Mama looks at her meal and says, "What he hell is that? I don't want that shit!"

10. Told Mama that Thursday would be my last day working here. She responds in classic style saying, "you gotta be your own women!"

"Mama" (not her real name) has been one of my favorite patients an as I concluded today, I was able to give one of my favorite patients a sweet kiss on the cheek. I have to say that I will miss my job, but I am excited about all the new patients I will get to know and LOVE! (The photo below, containing lipstick marks on my arm was taken July 28, 2010, shortly after I first started working there)

west elm

2011-05-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

Went into west elm in Austin a couple weeks ago...

I've been in the store before, but never as a potential home decorator...

However, now I am just a few short days away from having my own loft apartment in Seattle to decorate, I was inspired and am excited about this new stage of life.

Above is a wall that I liked.

Thought this yellow pillow is adorable for summer!

Of course I found a beer book that tempted me for purchase

but I "resurged" (resisted the urge).

Thin Buckle Bracelet

2011-05-08T18:54:00.000-07:00

Spent the weekend in Austin with my family to celebrate Mothers Day. We had a wonderful time; I really enjoyed the town! While we were there, a street fair was taking place on the famous 6th street. I found a talented local artist and bought a Thin Buckle Bracelet (gray band with gold buckle).

You can check out her work @:

leighelena.com

Joy

2011-05-05T06:45:00.000-07:00

Read a deviotional this morning and I was encouraged.

Thought I'd share it with you.

"The joy of living in my presence outshinies all other pleasures."

Just another day at work.

2011-05-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

Today was a day like no other at work. It all started off having a patient try and become my mother-in-law...she continued to ask about my marital status and said, "Have you met my son? I sure would love to have you as my daughter-in-law." NOT going to happen. Ever!

My day continued on during lunch, as I entered the dinning room. I came across a patient stealing silverware from the others at her table and hiding them in a napkin in her lap. One of the other residents stuck her hand out and asked rather forcefully to have them back. The Silverware Stealer looked at me and says "If she hits me, I'll hit her back!" I was laughing on the inside. The situation was diffused and both patients (with dementia) forgot about the incident 10 minutes later!

I then proceeded to a patients' room to address their dysphagia (difficulty swallowing). The patient had a refrigerator full of milk cartons. I retrieved one of these cartons and realized that the expiration date was a month overdue. I proceeded to eliminate the excess milk cartons. There is something very putrid about rotten milk! Here are just a few of the milk cartons before I disposed of them down the sink.

I concluded my day back in the dinning room. One of my patients is nearing 100 and she was holding hands with another resident who is blind. They are friends and it was just so precious not to capture the moment.

I love my job. I am so glad I am a speech-language pathologist.

(Many of the details were left out for confidentiality and no names or identifying information was used in the production of this blog).

Martin Luther King Jr.

2011-05-03T18:40:00.000-07:00

In light of the recent news surrounding the killing of Osama Bin Laden...reading the words of Martin Luther King Jr. was powerful in recognizing and refocusing my heart.

"I will mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that."

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

Change

2011-04-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

I am excited about some change that will be happening very soon in my life, I am moving back to Seattle. There, I said it...wow to make it official, I am moving May 20th to the great city of Seattle WA. I have been offered a great job opportunity with the company that I currently work for and will simply be making a within company transfer. I have seen the Lord's hand in providing housing and working out the details of the moving over 2,000 miles again! He has answered my prayer to be able to live back in the city that I love so much.

However, with this transition and change I am recognizing the overwhelming reality of change and the dependence I will need from him to make this transition well. I recognize that the position of need is a great place to rest because then our dependency in the Lord is heightened. It is such a blessing to realize that self-sufficiency is not adequate and that the Lord is the only one that can truly sustain us. I am reminded of the passage in 2 Corinthinans 12:9 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

It is a bitter-sweet move, but I am excited to see the Lord continue to work and move in the transition.

Sumatra Blue Batak - PEET's coffee

2011-04-28T06:39:00.000-07:00

Today marks a sad day...i will begin using the last of my PEET's "limited eddition" Sumatra Blue Batak. This by far has been my favorite PEET's blend of coffee.

Brace against the wind.

2011-04-27T21:09:00.000-07:00

Recently I was golfing here in the great state of Texas during a very windy day. Some advice I received while T-ing up to hit a drive was to brace against the wind...not to over compensate and lean too far, but to simply not get pushed around by the wind. I feel like that's good life advice as well. When there are circumstances that are pushing us around in a whirlwind of confusion, leaning and bracing against truth will provide us stability during life's windy circumstances.

Our Rock.

2011-04-18T20:16:00.000-07:00

Read this verse today on God being our rock. It was a good word. "There is none holy like the Lord; There is none besides you; There is no rock like our God." - 1 Samuel 2:2

MA. CCC-SLP

2011-04-08T05:55:00.000-07:00

Grad school - Check.

CF for 9 months - Check.

The ability to write my name:

Elise Benadom MA. CCC-SLP - Check.

friends.

2011-04-07T20:49:00.000-07:00

there is nothing quite like spending quality time with friends.

nana.

2011-03-18T15:12:00.000-07:00

It has been fun to develop more of an appreciation for fashion and beauty. My nana who recently turned 90 is my inspiration. She is classy and still used Coco Chanel No 5 perfume and talc after bath powder. In her younger years working as a nurse and a single woman would save a couple months worth to buy an expensive staple piece of clothing from Neiman Marcus. She still lives on her own, drives, cooks, enjoys photography and has a fiesty spirit that is alive. I hope that when I am 90 I still live with that vibrant nature and sense of fashion!

grandpa. he will be missed.

2011-03-18T15:08:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've updated this blog...lots of life has happened. On January 15th I was able to see God's hand in the process of my grandfather's passing. The day itself was beautiful. He was able to see all of his grandchildren. As he neared within the hour of death it was just grandma and I around his bed reading scripture. As grandma and I left the room for one moment he passed and went to be with the Lord. He went so peacefully and without discomfort. Despite the difficulty of the situation is was amazing to see God's hand in the timing of it all.

merry christmas

2010-12-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

a merry christmas from the Benadom's

spiritual receptivity

2010-12-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

I have been re-reading A.W. Tozer's, The Pursuit of God...something I try to do once a year. This book really has had a profound impact on my walk with the Lord and is used to root up a lot in my life that is worth examining. One of the themes that I am wresting with is the idea of "spiritual receptivity" and a deep longing to cultivate this in my own life.

"Let any man turn to God in earnest, let him seek to develop his powers of spiritual receptivity by trust and obedience and humility, and the results will exceed anything he may have hoped in his leaner and weaker days" (64).

It is beautiful that this is something that we are unable to do on our own, but only through trust, obedience, and humility. We need God to work in our hearts first for this process to be possible.

Tozer also address a theme of Presence and Manifestation as not being the same thing....

"The presence and the manifestation of the Presence are not the same. There can be the one without the other. God is here when we are wholly unaware of it. He is manifest only when and as we are aware of it. On our part, there must be a surrenderto the Spirit of God, for His work is to show us the Father and the Son. If we cooperate with HIm in loving obedience God will manifest Himself to us, and that manifestation will be the difference between a normal christian life and a life radiant with the light of His face" (58).

I want my life to be a life marked by the manifestation of His presence...one that cultivates a life of spiritual receptivity, and obedient surrender/trust to his plan.

dysphagia publication

2010-11-28T19:30:00.000-08:00

so i recently found out that my master's thesis will be published in the journal of Dysphagia. it is neat to see the fruits of hard labor! my major professor was instrumental in this process and i am grateful for the lessons learned, despite the challenges and long nights! (this photo is the email i received from my phone letting me know the wonderful news)

daily

2010-11-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

i have been reading through Luke...slow and methodically.

(i like really chewing on words and tend to take my time when processing through ideas)

the verse that i read was one that i've heard many times, but it is always amazing to me to see how the Lord sheds new light on verses...i love that about His word.

the verse is Luke 9:23

"And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.'"

in N.T. Wright's commentary the verse is read this way:

"He then spoke to them all. 'If any of you want to come after me,' he said, 'you must say NO to yourselves, and pick up your cross every day and follow me.'"

There are several things that have stood out in in this section the following are words that were significant:

come after me: means to become a disciple. i have a huge heart for discipleship because i believe that this is where transformation and a true growth in one's spiritual life is cultivated.

deny himself: indicates not only an idea of giving up certain earthly desires, but ultimately personal control of one's life into the hands of Jesus (a concept i am constantly wrestling with).

take up his cross: a commitment despite all costs (humiliation, rejection, even the loss of life) to follow Jesus.

daily: to me this is the one that really hit home for me. i need to do the former (come after, deny myself, and take up my cross) no not just one time...not just when it's convenient and i have time, not just when people are watching, but DAILY...

october 13: prayer with some solid women.

2010-10-14T19:16:00.000-07:00

there is something about having solid women in my life to pray with and share in depth the cries of our hearts. i am slowly but surely finding a community of women who i can experience that depth.

october

2010-10-02T09:36:00.000-07:00

it is the beginning of october and also my mom's birthday.

i think fall might be one of my favorite seasons.

time to update.

2010-09-27T18:42:00.000-07:00

so i realized that it's been a while since my last post.

i have undertaken a photo project titled:

"365 as 24"

a photo a day for my entire 24th year.

i don't think i'll post everyday on this blog,

but i will post some highlights.

here is one from the month of august.

august 7: dad daughter date. to see brad paisley.

diploma.

2010-07-30T11:10:00.000-07:00

it is now official.

i received my diploma in the mail.

hello masters degree.

kiss.

2010-07-28T19:49:00.000-07:00

Yup. Those would be lipstick marks of one of my patients, who kissed me after therapy today. So adorable!

baseball.

2010-07-26T19:16:00.001-07:00

i went to my first Texas Rangers baseball game.

there is nothing more American than baseball during the summer.

First week working 40 + hours.

2010-07-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

I now have great appreciation for those who are in the "real world" and work full-time.

jimmy johns

2010-06-23T17:43:00.001-07:00

so good.

N.T. Wright's After You Believe

2010-06-02T20:45:00.000-07:00

'know yourself' is good advice now as it ever was. The question, though, of what to do with that knowledge once you've acquired it is far more difficult"

- N. T. Wright.

I have been reading a new book by N.T. Wright called After You Believe, it he builds off his theme in Surprised by Hope that our lives ad believers is more than just "going to heaven" but really addresses what our lives as believers should look like. The major theme is this idea of Christian virtue and that it has a deeper meaning than just "doing good"...

It is so necessary to grasp the idea that Christian virtue has nothing to do with YOU but it's about God and His kingdom.

N.T. Wright states:

"This revolutionary vision of virtue thus enables us to shift attention quit drastically away from the idea that Christian behavior in the world is basically about 'good works' in the sense of good moral living, keeping the rules, and so on, toward the idea that Christian behavior is basically about 'good works' in the sense of doing things which bring God's wisdom and glory to birth in the world."

coffee.

2010-05-31T21:29:00.000-07:00

i miss the coffee in the pacific northwest.

transition

2010-05-24T13:56:00.000-07:00

there has been so much transition over the past couple weeks.

i will recap 4 of them for you:

1. graduated with my masters in speech-language pathology.

2. saw a great friend get married.

3. said goodbye to living in seattle.

4. moved to dallas tx.

WSU Alum come Friday.

2010-05-01T15:32:00.001-07:00

on friday I will have a master's degree in Speech-Language Pathology

...I'll be a WSU Alum.

bridal shower weekend.

2010-04-25T15:00:00.000-07:00

spent the weekend with dear friends for Sally Waldburger soon to be Balt...come May 15th bridal shower weekend. there is something special celebrating a friends wedding.

it begins.

2010-04-15T18:48:00.001-07:00

i had a HR phone interview for my first REAL job as a speech-language pathologist today. went really well...i'm encouraged! the job hunt/interviewing process has begun. praying God opens doors...

alive.

2010-04-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

He is risen. He is risen indeed!

good friday.

2010-04-02T22:05:00.001-07:00

i am humbled by his love and obedience: "Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours be done." - Luke 22:42

pike place market surprise.

2010-03-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

@ pike place this afternoon and saw these grapes for sale. never have i seen "big ass" grapes before...now i know what they look like!

education. dialogue. pursuit.

2010-03-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

"An education is a continuous dialogue...questions and answers that pursue every problem to the horizon" -- Justice William O. Douglas

found this quote on a stone on campus of Seattle University.

grandpa's 82nd birthday. a bitter sweet day.

2010-02-11T20:39:00.000-08:00

we are praying.

unexpected

2010-02-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

yesterday grandpa was rushed to the ER with shortness of breath. they found blood clots in his lungs and during the scan they also noticed a growth on his kidney. they ran some more tests today and confirmed that is is kidney cancer. they are wondering if it has metastasized to his lungs...he's pretty scared and grandma is tired.

prayers are much appreciated.

i like sunny seattle days...

2010-02-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

2010-02-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

As I have been reading through the book of Matthew, the thing that I am learning is how much Jesus desires a heart of faith. On example (Matt. 9:27-31), comes when Jesus was going to heal two blind men. He asks them, "Do you believe that I am able to do this?" They respond, "yes Lord." Jesus healed them as he says, "According to your faith be it done to you."

I wonder, what are there areas in my life that Jesus would ask "Do you believe I am able to do this?"

Further on (Matthew 16: 7-11), the disciples "began discussing it among themselves, saying, 'we brought no bread.'" Jesus who was fully aware of this responds saying, "O you of little faith, why are you discussing among yourselves the fact that you have no bread? Do you not yet perceive? Do you not remember that the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many baskets you gathered? OR the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many baskets you gathered?

I wonder, what are the areas in my that I am forgetting Jesus' faithfulness and the ways he has already provided over and over again in my life?

As I consider where God is going to take me, where he is going to lead me once I graduate, the two pieces of scripture (truth) I cling to are:

1. God desires a heart of faith.
2. God has been faithful even if we forget the ways in which he has been.

God I trust that you can lead. Forgive me the times I forget that you've been providing all along...

2010-01-30T23:10:00.000-08:00

had a great day. with a great friend. in a great city.

my plan, His plan

2010-01-24T20:56:00.000-08:00

Mark Driscoll's sermon rocked my heart tonight...

He shared about his recent trip to Haiti and stories of people experiencing the devastation. One story in particular that shook me and my perspective on life was of a local seminary professor. He was on the second story teaching when he felt the ground shake, he went outside to see what was going on...as he got outside the building collapsed and he began to weep knowing his wife was inside and now dead. He fought the grief thinking about his four children who were at home and immediately ran to them. Once he got home, he saw his house in rubble and had to pull his children out. Driscoll asked the professor what is plan is now that his wife, home, and job are are all gone...the man replied saying, "I have no plan, it is all His plan."

His faith in the Lord overwhelms me...he is able to say with joy - "The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot" (Psalm 16:5). God challenged my perspective today causing me to realize He is in control. It is His plan not mine. A life by faith requires total surrender.

"Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make profit - yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that" (James 4:13). It is all about Him and His will...and our surrendered hearts to it.

If the Lord shook your life, taking away everything you held as worth...would you be able to say, "I have no plan, it is all His plan"?

the run. my view.

2010-01-16T15:11:00.001-08:00

great view. great run.

bus ride

2010-01-14T20:11:00.001-08:00

while riding my bus this morning downtown...an elderly woman couldn't find a seat. the man sitting next to me got up and gave her his seat...refreshing to see that common chivalry isn't gone!

new home

2010-01-07T22:38:00.000-08:00

i can now officially call Seattle home. i'm excited to see what God does in this new city. i see it as a fresh start. there is something VERY wonderful about the chance to start anew!

hiking

2010-01-01T20:43:00.001-08:00

i love hiking with the family.

lesssons for a new year

2009-12-29T22:13:00.000-08:00

it is wise to consider the lessons a year brings...

and the responses those lessons should evoke...

i wait.

i pray.

i serve.

i obey.

i let him pursue.

i give up control.

i give up worrying.

i hope.

this will take a lifetime...

festive holiday sweaters

2009-12-12T12:47:00.000-08:00

there is nothing greater than wearing a festive holiday sweater...

thesis defense

2009-12-07T21:35:00.001-08:00

tomorrow: i will be defending my masters thesis. this has been a journey and will be a relief to complete. however, at the same time...it has become so much of my graduate school identity- that it will seem strange to be finished. its amazing the beauty of hard work, being able to step back and see progress not only in the work it self but within...hard work/drive has a way of shaping you.

Twizzlers, Cards, Flying

2009-12-02T17:09:00.000-08:00

was flying back to spokane...and the question of who you will end up sitting next to is always like rolling dice...i lucked out...super adorable 3rd grader on his first flight alone...he offered me Twizzlers and asked if i wanted to play cards with him...i said absolutely...except that might have been a mistake when he proceded to "make new rules" to this...code for cheating...but i went along with it for a while until it pretty much became ridiculous...so i was forced to hold his feet to the fire on these "RULES"...however he totally redeemed himself at the end of the flight: he proceeded to tell me, "You are a very beautiful woman...I wish I could marry you!" Atta boy...way to melt a girl's heart. He'll be a heartbreaker for sure. Kids are awesome.

Still he...

2009-11-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

Still he blesses those on whom he sets his love in a way that humbles them, so that all glory may be his alone.

Still he hates the sins of his people, and uses all kinds of inward and outward pain and griefs to wean their hearts from compromise and disobedience.

Still he seeks the fellowship of his people, and sends them both sorrows and joys in order to detach their love from other things and attach it to himself.

Still he teaches believers to value his promised gifts by making them wait for those gifts, and compelling them to pray persistently for them, before he bestows them.

-- J.I. Packer (Knowing God, 79)

airport terminals

2009-10-27T23:01:00.000-07:00

there is something about spending 5 hours in an airport terminal that ultimately leads one to either dillusion or reflection...my recent airport experience had the latter effect.

this all began on the search for coffee and the coolest destination city.

it was a toss up between gates D7 and D8 Boston and San Francisco.

finally decided D8: San Francisco with luggage, coffee, moleskin, and i pod in hand.

there is something about that black ink hitting the cream colored moleskin page...its beautiful.

honesty flows onto the page helping bring clarity to my random thoughts.

waiting at that gate i realized this whole scenario is some deep analogy for my life right now:

i'm packed and ready for 'the flight'

but it's not even listed on the monitor of departures

...i'm too early.

so i ask if it's possible to fly stand-by on an earlier flight?

but informed ALL flights are full,

until my scheduled departure.

all i can do is wait.

ultimately i don't really want to fly stand-by...

but i can get impatient so i could settle for stand-by

so i wait. i'm obedient.

i'll read, write random thoughts,

drink coffee, and listen to music

and wait.

...airports are seriously the best places to people watch...if you can spend 5 hours in an airport i suggest choosing the sweetest destination spot and enjoy it with coffee, music and a moleskin!

the designed roles

2009-10-20T10:17:00.000-07:00

Recently read this quote from Piper and Grudem and it resonates so loud what it means to be a woman responding to a man when both are submitted to the authority of their creator. "At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive, and nurture 'strength and leadership' from worthy men." The idea of "strength and leadership" referring to the call for men to be men and the responsibility of mature masculinity to lead, provide and protect. A beautiful picture of the roles of men and women in relationship with one another.

communion...

2009-10-04T20:34:00.000-07:00

so after church today i was looking over at the communion table and this little 4 year old girl is loitering around the elements...at first she looks super innocent taking communion over and over again...but on second glance i notice she is always dipping that bread in the wine! hmmm...no good.

WORD

2009-09-22T16:33:00.000-07:00

it's always slightly terrifying when i exit out of Word and it asks me if i want to "save any changes" to the thesis i've been working on...that I swear I did not make any changes to. i find myself retracing my "undos" to try and remember if i've made any...with furrowed brow of confusion...i confirm save...and just hope its ALL there the next time i open the document!

i am a firm believer in fire safety...

2009-06-25T21:43:00.000-07:00

so one of the things that helps to make summer school a little more bearable is “fire drills” there is nothing better than a siren telling you to go outside, enjoy the sunshine, and NOT be in class! Today was such a day, the 30 minute fire drill helped to make a two hour class seem much more manageable

gotta love 3-year olds...

2009-06-16T21:50:00.000-07:00

so yesterday i received a gift like no other...
i'm walking hand in hand with a 3-year old boy...
he reaches up and offers me quite the gift...
i look down and ask for me?
i open my hand and in it is placed a "booger"...
he had the biggest grin on his face...
i couldn't help but LAUGH!!!
gotta love 3-year olds...

Obedience...

2009-06-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

i was recently challenged with the question: what are you doing in your life that requires obedience by faith? that doesn’t require logic? that you haven't planned? that you’re reaching out saying God i'm ALL in and i'm trusting? that if God doesn't show show up you'd fall flat on your face?

i realized that i often step out in "faith" with a back up plan...and that isn't faith at all...

obedience requires us to truly step out in faith, with out a back up plan...to live our lives in complete surrender to the one who is the I AM...i'm in process learning what it means to live life in a "posture of confident reliance on the Lord" (Dallas Willard)...knowing God is good...

...let it snow...

2008-12-17T20:58:00.000-08:00

i'm about a day away from being finished with my first semester of grad school and heading home for the holidays. Spokane got a tone of snow today...this picture is of my soon to be roommate/grad school buddy! the semester has been challenging and yet so rewarding. i have learned a ton, been stretched in more ways that i might have wanted...however, God has been faithful and he is so good...he works everything for his glory...i'm still in a process of trusting his plan for my life...it is such a fun and crazy ride!

Pumpkin Picking!

2008-10-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Had a blast picking pumpkins with my roomies today...

I think fall is becoming one of my favorite seasons :)

my new home

2008-08-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm finally here...after leaving Phoenix on Sunday afternoon...my dad and I arrived in Spokane on Tuesday evening. I was greeted by my wonderful new roomies who helped unload all that I could fit in a two door Cavalier named Connie! Over the next couple days I began the process of making this new place my home. The house is truly a blessing it is in a great area with parks close by to keep my running life alive :)

This is a huge transition in life. It is a place to start not only grad school, but to live in a totally new climate and culture. I am living with some awesome women which is such a blessing! However, it is 1400 miles away from what I have called home for the past 22 years and that brings some sadness in the midst of all the excitement. As I look around at the new grocery stores, streets, and coffee shops it hits that this is my new home...everything is new and different and it will be an adjustment for sure to make this feel like home.

I'm excited about what this next chapter of life will bring and I know that God is penning the pages of the adventure and I'm in process learning to trust the author...

Return the Cross to Golgotha

2008-08-15T10:33:00.000-07:00

I simply argue that the cross be raised again
at the center of the marketplace
as well as on the steeple of the church,

I am recovering the claim that
Jesus was not crucified in a cathedral
between two candles:

But on a cross between two thieves:
on a town garbage heap;
At a crossroad of politics so cosmopolitan that they had to write his title
in Hebrew and Latin and in Greek...

And at the kind of place where cynics talk smut,
and thieves curse and soldiers gamble.

Because that is where He died,
and that is what He died about.
And that is where Christ's men ought to be,
and what church people ought to be about.

2008-08-08T14:58:00.000-07:00

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living..."

As humans we have longings and desires, but often those desires leave us empty and incredibly unsatisfied. C.S. Lewis in his address, The Weight of Glory, so timely states, "It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires, not to strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meat by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." Because we are too easily pleased - these fleeting desires of our flesh take root in our heart and limit our ability to live life to the fullest. Jesus says, "I came that they might have life, and might have it abundantly" (John 10:10).

What can this abundant life look like?

Let me paint a picture for you...
it was formative in my understanding of this so called "abundant life"...

A man and wife have wanted a child for a long time...through many prayers and tears they are finally given something that has been a ache of their heart...One day God says to the man; I need you to sacrifice this child...I can only imagine the thoughts in his head...WHAT! you can't be serious...now...after ALL of our waiting...you are really asking me to do this...but in submission to God he takes the child up a mountain and builds an alter, ties up his child, and raises a knife to kill him...God intervenes and provides him a ram to kill instead of his child...(loosely based from Genesis 22)

A.W. Tozer pens a beautiful response to capture God's heart in the story:

"It's all right Abraham. I never intended that you should actually slay the lad. I only wanted to remove him from the temple of your heart that I might reign unchallenged there. I wanted to correct the perversion that existed in your love." (The Pursuit of God, 26).

I think no matter what season of life we are in, we might benefit from asking - Is there anything good or bad that is challenging the throne of our heart...the place where God who is forever to be praised, indwells? Secondly, does God need to correct any perversion that exists in my love? Love is what should define us if we claim to be followers of Christ. Christ states, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and foremost commandment. An a second is like it, 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend the whole Law..." (Matthew 22:37-40). Jesus also states, "A new commandment I give you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you , that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:34-35).

Love is a sacrifice and it comes at a very high cost.
Feelings will fade, but love will remain.

Are we willing to fully surrender all, so that the temple of our hearts are not a place where our weak desires that too easily please reign, but rather indeed a place where Christ reigns unchallenged......so that we can fully experience this full abundant life by loving God and others in response to the Love that was given to us...

my prayer being:

"Almighty God, who alone can bring order to the unruly wills and passions of sinful humanity: Give your people grace to to love what you command and to desire what you promise, that, among the many changes of this world, our hearts may surely there be fixed, where true joys are to be found; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Thy Mercy

2008-07-09T16:55:00.000-07:00

Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.

Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.

Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.

(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)
(Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah)

Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.

All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divineSeals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
Well, HallelujahHallelujah (Hallelujah)
Well, Hallelujah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xhb5HLdr9A4&NR=1

...loving others well...

2008-06-23T23:09:00.000-07:00

This summer I am serving as a staff member on a summer project in Santa Monica and while on project I have gained perspective in relation to the great commission...a couple of verses have shaped my thinking:

"Don't just pretend that you love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Stand on the side of the good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other." -- Romans 12:9,10

"...Therefore, be imitators of God...And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us..."-- Ephesians 5:1-2

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law? And He said to them, 'You shall Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all you soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'"-- Matthew 22:36-39

I know that I want to bring glory to the Lord by loving people well...i think sometimes we get in the mindset of "converting people" but that is not what i want my life to be marked by...i want to have a genuine love for people and to share in the amazing relationship with the Creator...

2008-05-12T22:52:00.000-07:00

I finished my last final of my undergraduate career!
I graduate on Thursday May 15th…I’m excited to see the family =)

2008-05-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

I finished classes at U of A today…It was a bitter sweet feeling. It’s weird to think that I will never take a class there again. With only finals left, my time in Tucson is coming quickly to a close. The reality is that transition is happening all the time, but it is only when truly significant change occurs that we take the time to notice it… I am in process of enjoying the present while still looking forward to what God has next..

I heard a song lyric the other day, “What will you do with the time that’s left…will you live it all with no regret? I want my last few weeks in Tucson to be marked by that statement!

started a blog

2008-04-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

I decided to start a blog today and I think it is in part a way to avoid studying. I am a senior at The University of Arizona and I have 2 and 1/2 weeks until i'm finished with classes and 3 and 1/2 weeks until graduation! It is a bitter sweet time of life...I am ready to graduate and move on to the next chapter of life, but I will miss Tucson and the friendships here. I will be moving to Spokane, WA in the fall to pursue a master's degree in speech-pathology. I am really excited about this next chapter of my life and I feel so confident in the direction the lord is leading. It has been amazing to see his hand in the process :)